Fetlife is the perfect example of someone creating a product that they then use themselves. Unlike many dating sites and similar platforms in general, this one was not made with profit in mind. The creator is someone invested in kinks, the deep world of BDSM, and many other similar sexual expressions. This site was born to help all individuals that share those tastes to engage with one another, meet and interact.
A clear distinction between this platform and any other dating sites is how much Fetlife feels like a social platform. This is not one of those pages that only lets you see profiles and charges you for messaging those users. Here, you can add people as friends, follow them, and even have a wall to post stuff. Most users feel like they are using the “Facebook for kinky souls.”
This platform decided to go crazy with the dark, dungeon-like feeling for their overall design. It makes sense because they are all about the fetish life, and when people think about BDSM stuff, the first thing that comes to mind is a dark room, chains, tons of leather, and, obviously, red sheets on the bed. Well, that is precisely the kind of image you get when entering the Fetlife website and application. Most other regular and even l dating sites do not try nearly as hard in the design department, which is a shame because the result we see on this site is gorgeous and adequately themed.
Of course, there are tons of black with lovely velvet accents sprinkled all over the interface. Those little accents make the crucial parts of the pages pop and give you a feeling of sexiness and romanticism that can put you just in the right mood for this kind of site. Nonetheless, there are two faces on every coin, and there is a not so positive side with making the “provocative” theme so prominent all over the interface. Even though the community, while kinky and sexually charged, it still is incredibly welcoming and eases every new user into the whole experience. Still, many people do not make it that far on the platform.
Individuals who are just starting to explore their sexual desires and the darker side of those desires tend to feel insecure about what they are doing. People have doubts and are usually afraid of not being accepted. For that reason, when a complete newbie sees Fetlife’s site, it can feel like too much. The person may feel incompetent and not yet worthy of such a corner. Similarly, they may think that everyone else is better and more experienced; this is called “The impostor’s syndrome,” and it is not unique to the sexual realm.
Despite all that, if you are reading this right now and feel identified with the previous paragraph, you will be happy to find that you had the wrong idea. Fetlife is an incredible place where everyone is welcomed; veterans of the world of sexual exploration or people just poking around trying to find what they like. You will not feel judged on this page; far from it, everyone is supportive, and newbies are popular here.
Let the pages’ beautiful velvet accents and dark theme be an invitation and enjoy them as you would do your own pleasure-room. That was the end goal of having such a design, so you better take full advantage of every inch of it.
This section will start light and then gradually get more interesting, so bear with us while the exciting and provocative features of this site unveil. First, Fetlife offers some traditional and expected features you can find in many dating sites and regular social corners. Keep in mind this platform tries to be a social place also. Its blog is an excellent example of that; this site has a page where users can share pretty much everything they want. What differentiates this blog for the ones you may find on other pages is censorship or lack thereof.
Fetlife being a place created for kinky people, understands that what users want to share can be sophisticated. The stories people share, their desires, and interactions can get provocative fast. Various words and images that other sites immediately bar get a free pass on this platform. After all, many people are learning, and having written and visual references can help a lot. That is not to say that everything passes; this blog has strict rules regarding abuse and many other practices that can get you banned, but when it comes to the sexy stuff, feel free to share.
Closely related to the blog and the whole “social” theme this platform has, there are groups. Users can create groups where they can share all kinds of stuff about their interests. Those groups vary a lot and can gather thousands of users, much like Facebook but more fun and less censored. Everyone loves those groups, and they can be active, so if you are into something specific, search for it, the chances are that someone already created a group for it.
Continuing with that theme of groups, now we dive into the more exciting stuff, the various sections you can explore. Unlike other dating sites or any kind of dating platform for that matter, here you can explore the exact kinks and fetishes you are interested in. The only thing you need to do is go to the “Fetishes” section, where you will find a great list of all kinds of sexual inclinations and things to experience with. That list can get pretty big, as of now, there are around fifty fetishes you can explore, many of which you have probably never heard of.
That section gifts you the unique opportunity to explore the things you like. There you can learn from other users, experiment with them, and widen your horizons, not only sexually speaking but also as an individual. Then, when you get bored or just feel experimental, you can try other sections, learn about new fetishes, and discover new, exciting worlds of pleasure and kink.
Those sections have almost anything from bondage, rimming, loud or silent sex, and more standard stuff like anal or hair pulling. There are several “Kinks” levels you can explore; there is no need to turn it to eleven right away. Work your way through the stuff you feel comfortable with and the move to the next thing. The community in FetLife is unique because of how awesome and supportive they are. Because of that, you will find it easy to experiment, learn, and develop in almost all aspects of your sex and regular life.
Fetlife has tons of things that differentiate it from any dating sites and regular dating spots you have seen before. Its approach to messaging is not an exception. Very unlike any other dating platform, here sending messages is free. You can chat with whomever you want, and you will not be charged for it. Moreover, their messaging platform is quite unique.
Keep in mind that everyone on this platform goes for a nickname that is unique to that user. That is excellent news because it makes it that much easier to find any user in a pinch. Moreover, right from the messages page, you can access a search bar and look for the person you want to chat with.
The interface is straightforward and designed. Many dating sites try to reinvent the wheel when it comes to chat but luckily, Fetlife decided to keep it simple and save its users the headache of trying to figure out how everything works. Sending a message is just like sending an email from your regular provider; the notifications are clear, and the system is stable and lag-free.
The messages section also has a couple of surprises under its sleeve. The “Perv Kinkster Nearby” option shows you individuals nearby who are ready to chat and maybe get a little kinky with you. This is a popular function among Fetlife users, and you can be sure that a lot of fun can be found there. Similar to that option, there is the explore tab, and it does exactly as its name implies. There you can find lots of new people to start a chat with and interact with. Meeting people that way is exciting and can bring exceptional individuals to your life that you would not have met otherwise.
One important thing to keep in mind is that many users have specific guidelines for what they want or are willing to accept. For that reason, it is better to check someone’s profile before sending them a text. Make sure to read through the stuff they are into and whether you would feel comfortable talking with them. Most people here are cordial and pleasant, but sending the wrong message to the wrong person can get you into hot waters, so a little carefulness is always a good idea.
Fetlife took an exciting approach to fill up a profile. Here, it is a six-step process, and every section talks about a specific “section” of your life and interests. It is broken down in tabs, and the first one, logically, holds the info you fill up while registering. In that tab, you can include some of your interests and what a potential partner for you would look like.
The second step or tab is all about yourself. That is the section where you can open up and freely write about everything you feel is worth sharing about your life, story, tastes, and more. Besides, you can format the text to make it look exactly the way you want. Make some parts more prominent, highlight special features, and so on. You can play around with the options and make this tab reminiscent of you.
The third tab is a special one; in this section, you can add a relationship with other platform members. This section focuses more on those individuals who join this site alongside their significant others to explore their sexuality together. Keep in mind that to add a relationship with another user, you should be friends on the platform first.
Then you get to the more interesting sections. In the fourth tab, you get the opportunity to do something most dating sites would never let you do, add external links to any page you want. This, of course, is so you can share pages that you find interested and are related to your fetishes and inclinations.
The fifth tab is all about photography and the sixth about video; you could say those are the “media” tabs. Keep in mind that users upload all kinds of kinky stuff, and it can be explicit. This platform will not block those kinds of content, and everything is displayed on your profile as soon as you upload it. With that said, you can set your profile as private, so only people you have added can see all the stuff you upload there and your activities.
While on the topic of activities, everything you do on the site can be seen on your wall in a “timeline” way. People can post on your wall too, much like any social media page.
You can also add videos up to 5GB, which can feel like a lot at first, but if you are trying to upload super high-quality stuff, it may not be enough for longer content.
Fetlife is a platform invested in its users and their experience. The people behind this platform consider that if they provide a fantastic experience, they will take the initiative to support the platform. For that reason, without a membership, you get practically every bit of functionality you may want. Nonetheless, this platform offers a couple of lovely goodies to those who go ahead and support it by buying a membership.
If you acquire their monthly package, you get a nice badge on your profile that reads “I support Fetlife,” which is compelling and a conversation starter. Other than that, you can scroll further back than usual on your friend’s wall. Lastly, but not less importantly, you get a selection of the best perv content on the site. The hottest and most awesome uploads, so you know who to contact next.
As you may have noticed already, this is an explicit and sexually charged platform, logically, that’s carried over to their application. Prominent vendors like the google store block all pornographic or sexually suggestive content, and for that reason, this app cannot be found in that store. Nonetheless, there is no reason to worry. If you are an Android user, you can easily download the app from the Fetlife website. iPhone users can enter the platform via their mobile browser.
The application itself carries all the incredible functionality and beautiful design from the website. Interestingly enough, data shows that over seventy percent of users enter the platform from the application rather than the website.
For this platform’s nature, there are a lot of measures in place to keep users safe. Leakage of information is a big problem nowadays; for that reason, Fetlife does not allow users to link their social media, that would be an additional risk. In the same manner, the application has “time-outs” for profiles that seem spammy by sending too many messages.
More FetLife reviews should mention that it is rare to find a platform with such excellent tools and functionalities that, on top of being so useful, is willing to give it all for free. The main perk of Fetlife is that you can access all the media other users upload and enjoy full messaging liberty without spending a penny. It is not a surprise to anyone that after a while, users tend to go the “support” route and get a membership just because this platform is awesome that makes you want to give back.
This platform has a simple structure for users who want to “support” the page. You can opt for either six, twelve, or twenty-four-month plans that will run you 30USD, 60USD, and 120USD, respectively.
This platform is so far ahead of any other regular or dating sites that it feels unfair to compare them. Of course, this is not a platform for everyone; if you are not comfortable exploring your sexuality, you may not feel good here. Nonetheless, for all those people interested in exploring what pleasure has to offer and enjoy an incredible community full of people ready to help and take your hand through the road of discovering yourself, Fetlife is the place for you.